Stolen Identity

Being a woman can have the status of “Stolen Identity.” It’s safe to say I’ve had an identity crisis ever since becoming a wife and parent, because:

  • I’ve been a “stay at home mom” during the mommy-wars of the 1990’s, raising four babies.
  • I’ve been a working mom, teaching high school students each day, coming home to four children, dinner, laundry, homework and ballgames.
  • I’ve been a dairy farmer’s wife, which means I’ve been a milking mom.
  • I’ve been teacher-mom, which means you are grading papers every waking minute you aren’t “momming.”
  • I’ve been a gardening mom, which means pulling weeds is therapy in a lot of different ways.
  • I’ve been an angry mom and now I’m a forgiven mom.
  • I’ve been a Mennonite mom, which means you have to preserve at least 50 quarts of something each year to be official, and you have to make a mean Tator-Tot casserole. Check.
  • I’ve been a volunteer mom, having served on every committee in church, except the Food Committee. I haven’t graduated to that level yet, still stuck on Tator-tot casserole.
  • I’ve been a convertible mom. We had a sweet one that cost as much as our lawn mower, the first car that was ever “mine”. Sold it when Daughter started driving. Now I’m a Honda mom. And a Mini-van mom, of course.
  • I’ve been a running mom. Now I’d rather sleep, so I’m a out-of-shape mom.
  • I’ve been a road-trip mom, taking each of the kids on a road trip when they are 14ish. Worth it all.
  • I’ve been a student mom, obtaining a Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling so that makes me a a
  • Counselor mom. My teens just love that. “Don’t be a counselor, mom.” If only they knew that’s what moms do. I just have the opportunity to be paid for it.
  • I’m also a speaking and writing mom, which means events in our house are often screened by, “Mom, you don’t need to write about that…”

What roles have defined your ages and stages of life?

I have to say in all the roles I have played, they have become just that – roles, not defining who I am. I would rather think I’m

a woman.

Just that, A Woman.

Created by the Living Lord,

and am first His daughter.

Married to the man He gave me,

entrusted with the children He birthed through me

having opportunities to be His hands and feet as I walk through life.

Depending on the day, the clarity of His role for me and the other roles assigned can get foggy.

And then I heard a still small Voice saying,

You are Mine. Rest in that, and just live.

Lord, Jesus, may your Word and your Spirit give us strength and confidence to be the women you’ve designed us to be. Let us not look to the left or to the right, but into your eyes as your daughters.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name, you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1

This week, through October 27, I’m sponsoring a giveaway of Cec Murphey’s book, “When a Man You Love Was Abused.” To enter, just send me your mailing address to I’d love to get this into the hands of someone who has a hurting man in their life.



  1. I am much older than you and my list isn’t as long, but I am coming to terms with exactly that…I am a daughter of the King and I am tired of the titles the world feels I need to wear to call me worthy. So when I stand before others and they list their accomplishments I can stand knowing the one who sees me through the blood is the only one’s whose opinion matters.

    • Beautiful Janette, you aren’t THAT much older (really, only a few years)! It’s only been in recent years when everything was stripped away that God has shown me my womanhood isn’t based on the roles I fill or people’s opinions but on His blood alone. It’s a comforting place to be, is it not? Why have we as women not received that message? I am thankful for gracious women like you whose heart rests securely in Him, because it makes standing alone in Him not so lonely. Thank you for sharing.

    • Thank you, David. Just be you. Three simple words but so much there. I think a blog is in order for that. What grace you give in those words. Just as I am. Thank you, David.

  2. i’ve wondered, who am i, so many times and i’ve never thought about it like…i’m a woman and i play numerous roles. thank you for this post.

  3. Hi Brenda, I love love love this. Felt like I was reading my life and I love how you ended it, created by God for Him, because He loves us. Great post my friend. I’m adding this one to my list of favourites (one of the tags on my blog) God bless

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